Why follow unhappiness?


What if, just perhaps, we’re doing things that are actually working for us as individuals and we don’t need to conform to the rest of the rules regardless of how we’ve viewed in real life?

Lately, I’m hearing so much about how we should and shouldn’t run our online accounts and it’s taking all the fun out of the game. I’m talking about Instagram here. The holy ‘Gram. With all the respect in the world to those that work in social media full time, I’m personally just feeling less and less inclined to post anything at all for fear of not posting at the right times, not having a lengthy enough caption to keep my followers engaged, having to theme my feed, having to consider my outfit colours for the day in case it doesn’t match my brand aesthetic, etc. and downright not getting enough likes! Unpopular opinion: ITS SO BORING.

Never have I felt so uninspired or unconfident and the worst part? I have an album on my phone full of beautiful memories in picture form, that I don’t feel I can post because what if it’s not in keeping with the rest of my account?!

After much umming and ahhing over this particular issue regarding how or what I showcase my from life, (I honestly do so much more than worry about my IG in real life – don’t worry!) I feel that much of this issue boils down to how you want, or believe other people view you…

But surely, those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter?
All too often I am reminded of how much pressure I put on myself when I see other girls that I follow on Instagram. I can hold my hands up and say that I have that terrible, unshakable bad habit, of scrolling through my feed when I wake up in the morning (I tell myself that although I’m not moving, I’m stimulating my brain to get up. Right?) and when I see that someone else is already up, worked out, and her emails are answered, I just get a little annoyed at myself for not already being in the same position at 6:15 in the morning! It never makes me feel good, yet I continue to look and follow.
But why?

Becuase once you hit that follow button, it doesn’t even occur to us to change that to an “unfollow” again.

And it totally should.

As soon as we are following unhappiness, self-judgement, comparison, greed, jealousy, or anything that we follow for a good bitchy gossip about with the girls, later on, we really need to be double checking what that says about us and hit unfollow. Why put ourselves through that an not only make the whole experience less pleasant but more than likely make yourself bitter towards that person also.

This is quickly becoming a food for thought post, and I don’t know what the outcome of it will be, but I think it’s an issue to address. The way that we allow others to make us feel, be it in a virtual world where maybe we feel protected behind our screens is just as damaging to us as when we put ourselves in the firing line to be hurt or judged in real life.

This is where it gets deep now.

Where does the fear of not being liked stem from?
The need to impress, and gain approval?
Why does it matter to us so much?

I was thinking recently about how we shouldn’t surround ourselves with people who drag us down, but rather those than inspire, motivate, make us feel good, and lift us up! You don’t have to know these people to surround yourself with them, this is where Instagram can live up to the great potential that I believe it is best for. Some of the ladies that I follow motivate me to do more. And when I do, I feel great for it! I’ll link below some names that if you like me, you’ll love them!

But something else that I noticed, where all the accounts I had been following that do nothing for me. They don’t benefit me in any way to enrich my life, and if anything I was probably following either for the sake of it, because everyone else does to, or because I was still keeping checks on my old life, before my sense of worth had kicked in and these accounts had been at a level that I could relate to. Maybe they were people that I used to know, in a life I used to live, not going anywhere. Or clothing accounts that were full of cheap items that I don’t need.

I want to follow the good, the quality, the accounts that make me want to be a better person and make me happy! Why follow unhappiness?

This has gone so far off the track I set out on. But the link here is simply that Instagram has many rules that I disagree with these days, that are set out by people that are not in charge of how we live our individual lives. And how allowing those controls can cause unhappiness. Which links to how I believe following certain people can also prompt unhappiness and there is no need for that! Leading to the people we surround ourselves with in real life and how sometimes, as hard as it can be, we have to unfollow and cut ties with those people too. You have to do what works for you.  Does that bring us full circle? Does this make sense? 

The world of Instagram allows for everyone to be ‘published’ be it as a model, author, poet, photographer, designer, marketer, anything. So by conforming to the standards that we are set by others, how can we expect our brand to be accurately received? To be authentic, we must break the rules to allow ourselves to be the very best version of ourselves. And you know what leads on from being true to ourselves? Happiness. Follow yourself, follow happiness.

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