A quick note from my day.
Today I had the chance to pay a flying visit to a city that has a hold on me. A city that has an air about it that brings memories of a hardship and a miracle. Today I went to Bristol. It’s been 3 years and 2 days since a life changing and saving course took place here, allowing me to keep one of my precious sisters.
Time was tight, but I couldn’t not go. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to. I got the shakes and felt panicky just walking up the road towards the main doors. All those real and raw memories flooded my mind and I had to go and sit down for a while. Catch my breath and remember that this is nothing. Nothing, yet I felt everything. But all that my sister went through was so much more, so how could feeling panicked and shaky be anything? Breathe easy, Els. She’s still here, and she’s a warrior.
I went in, asked at the desk to double check the ward. I asked also, if by chance they still had her name in the system, and as I spoke it, the face behind the computer lit up and a smile shone because even whilst she lives at home again now, her memory is still living and well remembered within the walls that she called home for those months. Up to the 6th floor in a life with the voices of Wallace and Grommet. “The blue floor! Good choice, lad”
Now I really couldn’t stop shaking, my throat felt like there was something in it too. My body was just re-living the memories of 3 years ago, and the dread of news every time I went to that floor. No matter the well wishes, the good luck’s, the hope that you’ll walk in to good news, you still have the underlying dread. Thankfully, those days came to an end so much sooner than we could have expected. My sister is a warrior.
“Are you alright there, love?” A nurse was looking at me with a look of concern, God knows the state I must have worked myself into, it’s a miracle in itself that I hadn’t let any tears drop yet!
So many children in various stages of recovery, some clearly struggling, some doing so well, bless them. My sister did it all she’s a warrior.
I couldn’t stay long, I could only stay long enough to almost shed a tear, but I held that all the way back to the Wallace and Grommet lift.
To the nurses that I didn’t see, I came to say thank you to you. I’m only sorry I didn’t have time to bring you flowers, to show you in some form how much gratitude I have for you. It’s an incredible thing that you all did; you saved my sister’s life from such a strong enemy. You made it possible for me to keep my sister. That is just a miracle and I can’t thank you enough. I came in to try today, but I don’t think you’ll ever really know. Just as I don’t think I could convey to my sister how relieved, thankful, blessed and happy that I am to have her here with us these few years down the line.
Phoebe you’re a warrior, and a hope filled beacon for so many. Never dim your light, my love, yours is here to shine, just look at how many have seen it already, think of all those that you’ve touched with it and all of those that are yet to have the pleasure.
To read more about Phoebe’s journey and all that happened, click here to go to Phoebe’s Page.
I would also like to add that having beaten Acute Myeloid Leukemia, Phoebe is strong and healthy now.
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